There comes a point in many young people's lives where being alone becomes unpleasant. Simply being alone should not be innately uncomfortable any more than using the restroom without accompaniment, a regular experience for many. When being alone becomes uncomfortable, we deem it loneliness. Social isolation is merely a cause of loneliness, an emotional experience. However loneliness is not exclusively a phenomenon of being alone. Surrounded by acquaintances and familiar faces, one can feel loneliness. Loneliness is rather a facet of feeling that nobody understands us.
Why is it that America is considered to have a loneliness epidemic? Several theories offer explanation such as decreased in-person interactions and increased movement and uprooting of social ties. In Erik Erikson's psychosocial stages of development, he posits the third decade of life is an era of early adulthood where the primary challenge is a battle between intimacy and isolation. Will the young college graduate find their special person, commit to them, and grow with them as each invests in their shared future together, gaining the virtue of love? Or will the young graduate find gainful employment and learn to exist and thrive as a single unit of person? Perhaps more young adults are choosing isolation whether intentionally or unintentionally.
I appreciate all of these perspectives because each one has something unique to offer to the picture. While I believe finding intimacy and a secure attachment of love is important for a young adult in their 20s, this is not practical nor actionable advice. One does not simply find love as compatibility is more fickle than quantification. What I can suggest is to find people who are of similar mindset as you and share your deepest held values. People who understand you and will invest in you as you invest in them. They are your tribe. They are also rare and it is unlikely you will always find them in your immediate environment. Find these people and hold on to them. Your paths may not be identical, but they may be parallel, each heading in a unique trajectory toward the same goal. Perhaps as you realize you have many companions traveling with you for the long-term, the emotional experience of painful solitude will become less bleak.